


like you mean it

by hikawasrinko (ranpoandpoe)



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Changing Tenses, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, High School, Kissing, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Aoba Moca, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Hikawa Hina, Nonbinary Seta Kaoru, Not Beta Read, Teen Crush, Trans Character, Trans Hikawa Hina, Trans Hikawa Sayo, Trans Seta Kaoru, changing tenses because i'm a mess and forgot i was writing in the present tense SUE ME
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28490472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/hikawasrinko
Summary: “You know what I think?” Tomoe asks defiantly, taking a step forward and wearing a smirk proudly over her lips. I think you don’t want to commit, because deep down, you know that if you fall in love, you’ll be just as hopeless as Himari, and you can’t have that in your reputation, can you?”“You think I can’t get a date-”“A relationship,” Tomoe corrects.“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You think I can’t, but I disagree,” Tomoe’s gaze is sharp, but so is Moca’s, because they won’t stay behind. “And I’m willing to prove it.”
Relationships: Aoba Moca/Hikawa Hina
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	like you mean it

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS MY FIRST COMMISSION WEEEEEE!!!!!! i've been commissioned to write mocahina. just that, no specifics. so, i went wild. i didn't think i'd write 10k but i did, so enjoy it? jsdjsjk my first fic in 2021 hehe

“You guys… drop it…” Moca pouts, probably teasingly, but no one ever knows with them. “I’m fine on my own, I pinky swear!”

Despite being chill as usual, they were still a tiny bit more worked up, and of course, that detail doesn’t go unnoticed by the others, who know Moca like the palm of their hands; one of the perks of having childhood friends.

“You know what I think?” Tomoe asks defiantly, taking a step forward and wearing a smirk proudly over her lips. Moca knows that, if that’d been with anyone else, they’d be intimidated right now. She’s tall and strong, everyone’s seen her strength and stamina on the drums during the Afterglow performances, and she just looks cool, the kind of girl who’d kick your ass if you say the wrong thing. 

But then again, they are childhood friends: that has some disadvantages for Moca sometimes, but the same counts for Tomoe. They know she isn’t going to do anything to harm them. “Mm?” After seeing the girl’s smirk, they make sure to put a grin just as teasing on their own lips.

“I think,” Tomoe is now close, too close to be comfortable for anyone else, and Moca can see Ran’s annoyed face, as she wants to start practice soon, and Himari and Moca’s, worried about what will come out of that situation. Everyone in that room is aware that Moca likes playing with fire, and that Tomoe… well, Tomoe fights fire with fire that’s just as intense as she is. “You keep saying you’re fine, because you don’t think you can.” The room is way too quiet for one that’s supposed to host music practices. “You don’t want to commit, because deep down, you know that if you fall in love, you’ll be just as hopeless as Himari, and you can’t have that in your reputation, can you?”

Touché. That’s another perk of being childhood friends: the other knows exactly how you feel and how to get to you--spot on. Not knowing how to react without alarming the others or destroying the reputation mentioned by Tomoe. 

“Tomoe-” Ran calls, noticing the atmosphere and the fact that Moca’s awfully quiet. Perk of having childhood friends once again. But this time, they decide to spice it up a bit and interrupt the vocalist who will never admit she’s concerned about what happens after that. 

“Okay,” Moca finally says. They take the metaphorical step back, as they know Tomoe wants. It’s a true checkmate, as neither of the options had been favorable to them. “You think I can’t get a date-”

“A relationship,” Tomoe corrects.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You think I can’t, but I disagree,” Tomoe’s gaze is sharp, but so is Moca’s, because they won’t stay behind. “And I’m willing to prove it.”

Tomoe crosses her arms, which is either a protective mom/friend pose or a threatening one. Analyzing the context, it’s probably the latter. “The anniversary event in the Yamabuki Bakery is two weeks from now.” She asks, without interrupting the eye contact. Moca knows what Tomoe is going for, and if she mentioned the Yamabuki Bakery, it’s because she expects that. “Because of the anniversary, they’re holding a sale, y’know that,” Moca nods. “Which consists of 50% off if…”

“If you kiss your partner in front of the cashier,” Moca completes, very well aware of the sale, as Yamabuki Bakery’s most loyal client. “I’ll bring a date with me by then. Easy like taking candy from a baby.”

“It’s on, then,” Tomoe offers a hand, which Moca holds, to symbolize the deal that’s just been made. The other members of the band are still sweating by their side, in awe that their presence has been ignored for minutes. 

“It’s on. Now, let’s go practice or else we’ll have to rent the room for another hour and I’m so broke!” Moca cries, thinking that those 50% will really come in handy. 

The rest of the rehearsal goes on as usual, with no one mentioning the situation, except for challenging stares between Moca and Tomoe as well as a handful of awkward silence amongst the others. Moca pretends not to be nervous at all, and tries to convince themself not to be, but the first thing they do next morning is visiting the Student Council’s office, where they luckily find who they’ve been looking for. “Hina-senpai~!”

Hina turns around and their eyes are shining brightly as usual. It’s something constant that’s grown to be part of Moca’s ‘same as always’. They never tell the rest of Afterglow that part, though. Or the part where they, secretly, are already as hopeless as Himari. “Moca-chan!” They exclaim and run towards the fellow guitarist, in their typical way that makes you feel like you’re just the person they want to see. “You’re early today!”

Of course, they notice. Nothing goes past their quick thinking. Moca smiles, immediately getting kind of fidgety but doing their best to hide it. “Yeah… I’ve been wanting to ask you something… y’know…”

“Mm?” Hina quietly asks for them to continue, so enthusiastic that the request seems to end with an exclamation point instead of an interrogation. 

“In two weeks, it’s gonna have a thing at the Yamabuki Bakery-”

“The anniversary, yeah!” This time, the exclamation point is actually present and Hina claps for a quick second. “I’ve heard about that! Let’s get that bread, right?” Moca laughs, half because of the meme reference, half because they’re nervous.

“Sure! Fufu~” Moca tries to shut down the nervousness by teasing, but they have a feeling that Hina’s too clever to be fooled by such a poor trick. “It’s just that… to get the 50% off sale, you gotta kiss your date in front of the cashier, I think…” Moca sighs. “I asked everyone from Afterglow, but they want to see me suffer, I’m sure.”

“Why wouldn’t they want to kiss you?” Hina stares at Moca’s face as if trying to find the reasoning there. The president’s genuinely puzzled expression brings a light blush to their cheeks. 

“Not sure! Why wouldn’t anyone want a taste of this hot being of ambiguous gender who’s most likely not human?” Moca winks and the comment takes a giggle out of Hina. Truly a blessing from heaven, that early in the morning, even before the start of the first period. “The thing is, without them, I…” They take a deep breath. “Thought about asking you!”

“I’d love to!” Once again, Hina exclaims, but this time, they also jump in Moca’s arms. They’re lucky for dropping their bags off in the classroom before the visit, is the first thing they think about before their brain started to process the situation: there Hina Hikawa is, inside their arms, under their embrace, after agreeing to kiss them. Yeah, it’s a bread sale, but that doesn’t make it any less special and doesn’t stop the heat from travelling directly to Moca’s face and all the other places Hina touches.

Finally, Hina’s hands are far from Moca’s back and the skirt of their uniform, slightly longer than Moca’s and the feeling of the fabric on their thigh is still electrifying. “I’ll do it,” They repeat after the lack of response from Moca. “How will we do this, by the way?”

“Faking a relationship can be a good deal,” Moca suggests, definitely not letting their personal affairs find their way to their professional life, if that can even be called that. “It always brings a spice to it.”

“Love it!” Once again, Hina is clapping with their eyes as bright as a pair of stars in a constellation, never separating from each other. “If we’re gonna do this, we’ll need practice, right?”

If Hina says it, then it’s probably logical, but at that moment, Moca can’t think about anything else other than the idea of  _ practicing. _ They immediately agree, occupying the rest of the time daydreaming about it: the both of them holding hands, trying out the sensation of it and how they reacted, so they wouldn’t cringe to the touch or something like that… “Yeah, of course! Of course.”

“Great! When are you free?” Hina looked at Moca expectingly, maintaining almost uncomfortable eye contact. It was intense, but no less filled with excitement. 

“Um… today? I guess?”

“Boppin’!” Hina clapped their hands. “My place, then? I might run a bit late, because of Student Council stuff, you get it, right, so you could wait for me! And we walk to my place together! Onee-chan will be there, is that okay? Wait! It’s even better! She could help us out with the task in hands!”

It was difficult for Moca to imagine Sayo Hikawa helping them to fake a relationship to get cheaper bread at the Yamabuki Bakery, but how could they ever say no? That was why they nodded. “Sounds like a mocatastic plan, eh.”

“Yes! Totally tsugurific!”

Moca smiled upon hearing Hina using the terms they coined themself, despite knowing they probably weren’t using them with a different meaning as Moca intended; but Hina Hikawa was never wrong, at least not for them, so the meaning would always be the one the Student Council president thought was fit. 

“Yeah…” Moca was about to say something, they themself didn’t know what, when the bell announcing the five minutes prior the start of the classes rang. Truly transphobic, the guitarist of Afterglow thought. 

“Can you believe I forgot about class?!” Hina exclaimed, bursting in laughter. Perhaps the way they looked at the president as if they had hung the stars in the sky and kept a handful of them in their eyes was way too obvious, but they found it was impossible to control. The admiring gaze became panicky when Hina grabbed their hand. “Let’s go or we’ll miss class!”

Soon enough, Moca was being pulled around as Hina ran down the hallways, something they weren’t supposed to do, especially as the Student Council president: running in the hallways was forbidden. It wasn’t that strict, since the person who was supposed to keep it under control, enabled it instead—Moca saw it themself, but they’d also hear Tsugumi’s rambles about her frustrated attempts to tame the untamed Hikawa sibling. 

The moment they were apart, each going to a different classroom, it felt like Hina’s hand had already been turned into a part of their own body—it hurt to separate. But as usual, their fellow guitarist kept them accompanied through the boredom of math classes, then chemistry, in the shape of messy doodles and vigorous thoughts. 

Finally, the bell that announced the break rang and luckily, the teacher in the room usually respected it, unlike the class’ chemistry professor. All of the other members of Afterglow looked puzzled when Moca went to the opposite direction of their usual spot. “I’m going to check if there are any new mangas at the library,” They explained as soon as their bandmates' stares caught their attention. 

Of course, checking out mangas wasn’t the  _ whole _ reason why Moca decided to visit the library that day. The rest of the explanation was, Hina would usually pass by the room as soon as the lunch break started, for some kind of boppin’ Student Council task, as they’d describe it. 

_ Bingo, _ Moca thought when they opened the door and saw their short teal hair, messy from all the jumping around. They were under the lamp, smelling some books, caressing others, and the artificial light that illuminated their body made them look like some kind of steampunk angel. A very cool concept, Moca thought. Maybe they’d even bring it up during one of the conversations with the rest of the band, so they could brainstorm over manga plots again. 

“Moca-chan!” Hina called upon the sight of them, interrupting their thoughts. The librarian looked as if she was fighting the urge to tell them to be quiet. She was probably giving them a break as the room was still empty and Hina was the Student Council president, but it had clearly annoyed her. “Come over here!”

They immediately obliged, getting closer to the shelves. “Hey~?”

“What do you think about a book club?” Hina then asked and probably didn’t listen to Moca’s greeting. “I’m thinking about funding one, to make the literature classes more boppin’... Some literature teachers came to me asking for suggestions, y’know, and onee-chan mentioned a book club once!”

That did sound like Sayo. “Tsugurific, just as I expected from Hina-senpai! Fufu.” There wasn’t a hint of embarrassment in Hina’s expression, only pride and a bit of flattery, and it was one of the things Moca loved about them. A world without shame—how beautiful was that? For a second, it’d almost feel like they weren’t being crushed by their own shameful fears at that exact moment. “There’ll be manga, right?”

“Mhm!” Hina answered excitedly. Though they weren’t clapping their hands nor jumping around at the moment, their bright eyes almost made it look like they were. “The teacher asked for us to include the extracurricular ones in the club as well, but yearly, there are only two of those so it'll be gucci, fufu.”

_ Maybe I’ll join if you’ll be a part of it, _ Moca thought, but didn’t say—instead, that was what came out of their mouth, “Tsugurific! Mocastastic! Truly marvelous!” Rolling their tongue as though they were a british, high society old lady. That made Hina laugh. “You know what would make it better? Snacks! Will there be bread? Talking about books would be way more boppin’ with the company of croissant and butter.”

“You’re right! That’s so boppin’! I knew I could count on you, Moca-chan!” That was the moment their heart melted. “And oh, bread! Our practice thingy!” They recalled and ridiculously, the mention of it brought chills to Moca’s neck. “Do you want to start now?”

The both of them were awfully close and, for a second, Moca thought that Hina was going to kiss them. For a second, they dared to admit to themself that they wanted them to. But Hina just grabbed them by the wrist and pulled them away from the library. “Um… where are we going?” Moca asked in a casual way, as if it didn’t matter. Of course it did—everything about the younger Hikawa mattered, at least for them.

Finally, Hina stopped running when the both of them got to what Moca recognised as the Student Council’s room. The meetings would usually be held there, and it was a location they knew very well, as them and the other members of the band would pick up Tsugumi there once in a while, if it happened of her running late. Something kind of usual, since Hina’s enthusiasm with everything was captivating. For another second, Moca allowed themself to think that they wouldn’t mind working and having a bunch of other responsibilities if it meant spending time with Hina. 

“We’re here!” They exclaimed. “We won’t have any meetings today, so we have the whole house for ourselves.” That sentence was ended with a wink that once again melted Moca’s heart. They wondered how much longer it could take that. “So,” Hina sat on a chair and moved around the room, which the tiny wheels on the bottom of the chair allowed, but their eyes always stuck on Moca. “Since when would we be… doing this?”

“Today, I guess?” Moca suggested, trying to put some thought and logic into it, but the heat of their head made it a bit difficult. “It’ll be easier to make up a story.”

“A story, eh…” Hina put their hand over their chin as if in deep thought. “What about, you prepared a lot of stuff around the library like a… like a scavenger hunt! And all of the clues brought me back to this room and when I got here, you- come here.” As Moca approached Hina, they got up from the chair. “Yes, yes. And…”

Moca couldn’t help it: they started imagining the situation as Hina told it. Their hands would caress Hina’s soft cheeks, slightly moving it up so they’d make eye contact, considering the difference of an inch between their heights. Hina’s eyes seemed puzzled in curiosity, not yet bright, because it hadn’t happened yet. Then, the words would just come out. 

They’d say,  _ “I’ve liked you for a while. And… I’m not sure you know my way of caring for you, if it’s enough for you to notice it, but I do. I always did. I like the way you make everything seem just so easy, as if you don’t even try, and everything about you looks so effortless and maybe that’s why it requires so much effort not to fall in love with you, even though I-” _

“That’s oddly specific,” Moca interrupted with a giggle, trying to hide their own blushing cheeks and it was this gesture that stopped them from noticing that Hina’s were the same. 

“It’s just- a confession scene from a script Chisato-chan was requested for! I-” Hina sighed and tried to hide their pout while Moca did the same with their red face. “I’m just working hard for this! It gotta be boppin’, right? Accuracy and all that jazz.” They tried to be serious and hardworking, doing their best to keep the image of Aya in their head. If everything went right, they would’ve acted just like Aya-chan, but not too much to be suspicious.

“Yeah! Yup! You’re- um…” Moca cleared their throat. “You’re doing a good job. As always.”  _ Just like everything you do, it seems so easy, _ they thought, but didn’t say. Were their feelings so obvious that Hina had already caught up with them or had Chisato actually received a script that described the way Moca felt about the fellow guitarist, word by word? Both, perhaps. 

“Are we going to make an announcement or just,” They made a movement with their hands, one that Moca didn’t quite understand—an explosion? “Do it, in front of everyone when the day comes?”

_ Do it.  _ The Yamabuki Bakery had just become even better for Moca and they could barely hold the excitement in their chest.  _ In front of everyone. _

_ When the day comes. _

Hina’s tone of voice implied that they preferred the first option—not that obvious, but there was an ounce of judgement in their voice when they mentioned the latter, Moca noticed—so they just asked, “What do you prefer?”

It didn’t really matter anyway. What they needed was, to prove a point to their bandmates and a kiss from Hina, one they’d cherish for the rest of their poor life. How would that happen, they didn’t care, as long as they got those two things, their pride and their dream. 

“I think it would be weird if we didn’t announce it,” Hina responded, quickly. “Not really believable. Plus… dating sounds boppin’! It’s something I wanna talk to the whole world about! Would want, I mean.”

The bell then rang once again and Moca couldn’t help but whisper one or two curse words. Half an hour wasn’t supposed to go by this fast. They ran towards their classrooms in a rush, excitement going through their veins for doing something forbidden, but yearning because that wasn’t quite the forbidden they wished to practice.

“Go to the Student Council room by three-thirty!” Hina exclaimed, not gasping for air like Moca did. They were probably used to running around from the Council room back to their classroom, active as they were. Moca, on the other hand, wasn’t as athletic. Still running, they got to the point where they separated, as their classrooms were on opposite sides. It was the first time either of them slowed down their step. “It’ll be very boppin’, today with you!”

The grin in Hina’s face as they turned around to their own classroom made time stop for a bit before the crowds pushed Moca forward, the students frowning at them for blocking the path, and that image stood in their mind the whole morning and half of the afternoon.

**[...]**

As requested, Moca stood in front of the Student Council room by three-thirty. Twenty past three actually, because anxiety took over and arriving early wouldn’t hurt them—gods, what was happening to the Moca? They had left the class and immediately gone over to their own house to change the school uniform. They’d probably stay over at the Hikawa’s for a while, so they might as well make themself comfortable. The rest of the band had discussed going out, though, for practice, then to eat something at the cafeteria. “I can’t today,” Moca commented with a grin of their own. 

That caught the attention of their bandmates. The questions didn’t stop coming until they decided to finally tell, exactly when their paths would get separated. The word ‘date’ tasted sweet in their mouth, especially with the knowledge it was with Hina Hikawa, and the bewilderment in the others’ faces was almost as pleasant.  _ Almost. _

So, there they were, wearing jeans, jacket and a T-shirt, the safe, comfortable choice. Couldn’t go wrong. It took a while for the meeting to end, understandable since they’d arrived early, but after five minutes of Student Council members leaving the room and no Hina, Moca decided to get in. What they found was Hina gluing pictures on pieces of paper, drawing and making annotations on a white board that hung on one of the walls.

“Hina-senpai…!” Moca called, amazed by all the work in that room. The boards and pieces of paper were chaotic, written with glitter pen and crayon; though it wasn’t understandable for anyone but Hina themself, it was solid. Each topic and messy graph were linked to each other and a draft—or an attempt—for color coding could be found. “That’s a lot of work! I’m impressed.”

Their expression probably communicated that it had been a teasing, but Moca was truly in awe. Hina, on the other hand, was sweaty and let out a tired sigh. “Can you understand anything?”

Hina’s voice was frustrated enough for Moca to want to say that yes, they understood everything perfectly and that there was no better explanation for that subject than the random papers spread around the room, but there were too many ways to prove that was a lie. “I can… understand some things.”

“Tsugu-chan is so good at this…” They cried. “She would’ve been making others understand what I’ve written since I started, making it easier and more boppin’ for the other members of the Council…” 

One deep breath while considering something. A decision had been reached. “I could try to help you,” Moca whispered, too embarrassed to say it loudly. “I can understand a lot of it and Tsugu is my childhood friend, so I’ve kinda grown a telling of what she’d do.”

“Would you do this for me?” Hina’s face resembled a very specific emoji that had been trending on Twitter for a while, their green eyes begging for something the both of them knew what: assistance with Student Council work. If it was anyone else, Moca would be thinking about a polite way to say they weren’t a worker or anything, but it was Hina, so they would certainly do that and many other things for their sake.

“Yeah, sure,” Moca dismissed the importance of the gesture with a shrug. They received a hug from Hina before starting and luckily, they were checking different tables and shelves. “So,” They grabbed a notebook on one of the tables, not caring if it already had an owner or another purpose, as well as a pencil. “Where do we start?”

**[...]**

With Moca’s help, the whole thing took them half an hour. They were surprisingly good at understanding what Hina meant and making comprehensive annotations. Moca and Hina were just as disorganised, but in Moca’s case, it was mostly because they didn’t care to be, in an almost nihilistic kind of way. Hina’s disorganisation, on the other hand, rooted in the fact that their thoughts were too fast for them to organise neatly.

Anyhow, Hina’s eyes were shining brightly as they looked at Moca, upon the realisation that they were just as skilled in the Student Council as Tsugumi was. The fellow guitarist had never striked them as someone with these kinds of skills. “You’re so boppin’ at this, Moca-chan!” They exclaimed as both walked out of the room, on their way out of the school and to the Hikawa’s household.

“Fufufu, of course! I am God, haven’t you heard?”

That made Hina laugh loudly. “Have you always been God or is it something recent?” They decided to indulge.

“Great question!” They’d been enabled. “The old one, that pathetic old man, I challenged him to a duel! And of course, I won, with my mighty sword.”

“How was the old one?”

“White, cisgender man. Possibly heterosexual. Highly likely, actually,” Moca answered without hesitation. “I’m way better at this job.”

“No doubt!” Hina smiled. “That’s me, by the way. We’re here.” They pointed at the house and pulled Moca inside, not before taking their shoes off, of course—Sayo would certainly be mad if they didn’t. “If we’re gonna date, then we should know each other better! I mean, would you date someone without knowing their favorite color? What’s your favorite color, by the way?”

Everything about that situation seemed too surreal for Moca to believe it, but they just decided to go along with it. “Greenish blue. Or blue-ish green, I don’t know. Something like teal, turquoise… yours?”

If Hina noticed that it was the exact color of their hair—which, bright as they were and with such a quick thinking, they probably had—they decided not to point it out. “All colors are so boppin’! But blue’s been having my attention lately, I think, all tones. Especially grey-ish blue, y’know. Like… a thunderstorm!” Hina’s eyes shone brightly while Moca observed the house, organised like one would expect from a place Sayo Hikawa lived in. And, if they’d noticed the storm present in their own eyes, now busy analysing the decoration, they decided not to point it out. “Hmm… it doesn’t look like Sayo was here after class. Maybe she had practice.”

“Oh. So, we won’t be able to get her help… You were looking forward to that. Do you want me to come back another day?” Moca asked, though they prayed Hina’s reply was negative—which it was. One of the perks of winning a duel against God, perhaps. 

“No, no! It’s fine!” They dismissed it with a laugh, the more nervous Moca thought Hina could seem. “We’ll need to be quick, or else we won’t be able to give a convincing performance, huh…” Again, Hina laughed, a little lower one this voice, and Moca faked a smile at that. Both as false as the other. “Let’s go to my room!”

They immediately turned around, taking Moca upstairs. They were lucky the Hikawa wasn’t looking, or else they’d see the blushing mess they were. As usual, the president had invited them to their room without a hint of embarrassment, almost as if they weren’t aware of the malice contained in the act of two people similar in age being alone in a room, especially in their situation. They knew Hina did know about that, but still. It seemed so casual when they proposed it. 

“We should play twenty questions,” Moca suggested, trying to distract their mind from the fact they were just a few steps—very quick steps, it was worth mentioning—away from Hina Hikawa’s room. 

“Yes, absolutely! We should! Boppin’, boppin’, I start!” They turned around and the brightness and the beauty of their beauty made Moca think that maybe, they’d done it to show it off. Either that or breaking their heart in a million pieces, while simultaneously melting their brain—again. Both intentions would’ve been a success, though. “Have you ever dated anyone?”

“No,” Moca answered, thinking if they’d have to explain that answer. It was the socially acceptable option, but Hina didn’t give a shit about that.  _ But  _ Hina was curious and would want to know. The puzzled eyes they directed to them confirmed that theory. With a sigh, they decided to respond to the question that hadn’t been asked with a joke. “The job of being God takes most of my time. No room for boyfriends.”

“Gotcha,” They answered simply, not seeming satisfied but apparently, willing to live with it. “Your turn.”

“Have  _ you  _ ever dated anyone?” Moca shoot, not because they didn’t have enough creativity to think of something else, but because there was genuine curiosity. 

“No, but!” Hina started, the stars coming back to their eyes. “I wish I had! I want to know what it’s like so badly…” They cried. “Do you know anything about it?”

“Is that your question?” Moca asked back, to have some extra time to think about what the heck they’d reply. Dating, they thought, trying to filter out all the unrelated stuff from their brain. They thought about Ran and Arisa: Ran was very closed off emotionally and it took her a lot to actually  _ say  _ how her relationship was going, but she was also very easy to read. The both of them would have dates at the very least weekly, and would always go on plant stuff together. Moca didn’t know anything about it, but they did know Ran would blush furiously whenever the keyboardist was mentioned and once in a while, there’d be a new bonsai over her bedside table. 

“Yeah!” Then, there was Tomoe and Himari, who were both in a polyamorous relationship with Lisa and Saaya. The four of them were clingy and lived for public displays of affection, and they’d very often bake together while blasting a romantic song that was of their taste—Tomoe preferred rock or punk, but she’d started making an exception for her girlfriends. Now, she loved romantic music too, because it reminded her of them. 

Tomoe loved their relationship so much, and always thought everyone was jealous of it. She made that bet on Moca, and unfortunately for them, she was right. If they had a heart attack, the medical bill would go to the drummer. 

“All I know is from observation,” was the reply Moca settled for. 

“Hm?”

Hina wanted more—of course they did. “People usually do what they like together, I guess,” They thought about baking, about music and studying plants. “It makes it better. And I think it’s also about… liking the other person, obviously, but enough for you to sometimes do things a different way, or in a way you don’t prefer, to see them happy. Fuck, that’s so cheesy and cringy.”

Moca almost hid their face with their hands, but that would only make it  _ more  _ cringy. It made Hina laugh, though. “That sounds right. Eve-chan and Rinko-chan are like that and I  _ adore  _ them, but can I tell you something?”

“Yes! Moca-chan loves secrets,” They leaned in to show with body language that they were eager to listen. 

“My first reaction was that I wanted what they had,” Hina was pouty. “I thought about how boppin’ they were and how boppin’ they made each other feel, of course, but that wasn’t the  _ first  _ thing. That was, I wanted that boppin’,” They sighed and opened a guilty smile towards Moca, one that wasn’t happy and bright at all. “That doesn’t make me a good friend at all, does it? I’ve never quite understood the difference.”

They wanted to bring it back—taking Hina’s brightness was something they just couldn’t allow. “Not really,” they said, thinking about their own friendships. The way they felt about others wouldn’t do shit for them: finding Ran talented and cute and a delight to be around wouldn’t have helped her fix her relationship with her father; the sensation of safety they felt when Tomoe was around wouldn’t make it easy for her to voice her own wishes and the admiration they felt towards Himari wouldn’t make her any less insecure. “I think it’s less about how you feel and more about how you choose, despite or in spite of those feelings.”

Soon enough, Moca realised that answer didn’t match the casual, always joking persona they created for themself, but it seemed to please Hina, who considered it for a while, then smiled. “You might be right. I mean, it  _ sounds  _ right, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Moca said. “Yes, it does.” After that, there was a moment of tension that the Afterglow member couldn’t quite name, but felt driven to break—which they proceeded to do in a few seconds. “I guess it’s my turn to ask something,” The comment startled Hina, but they cheered excitedly nonetheless. “Hmm… gender. Thoughts?”

“I wanna say ‘no thoughts, head empty’ so bad!” Hina could barely finish their sentence before bursting into laughter, and Moca followed their lead. “But serious answer- as serious as I can be right now and with this topic anyway, every time someone asks me or I wonder what’s my gender, all I can think is ‘no’ and ‘lesbian’...”

“I understand it perfectly.”

Hina smiled, their eyes shining brightly once again, happy to be understood. It was difficult for Moca to understand how such uniqueness could be so painful for them. But if comprehension made the Hikawa happy, then so be it: that was what they would get. “You do?” Moca nodded lovingly, because how couldn’t they? “If you had to choose another band, one of those we know, to be a part of and it couldn’t be Afterglow, which would it be?”

With all honesty, Moca had never considered  _ not  _ being the guitarist of Afterglow. Their childhood friends, the songs and the aesthetic of the band, they’d become part of their personality already and it was hard to determine which parts of them were influenced by it, if there was anything. 

For a second, they wondered if it’d be too obvious or cheesy if they answered Pastel*Palettes. It probably would, but Moca thought about the other bands and it just didn’t seem to click. Roselia was good, they were really talented, but it was nearly impossible seeing themself with the band. Afterglow and Roselia were rivals, good ones at that, but not as good at pairing- at  _ collaborating, _ Moca corrected in their mind. If talking about pairings and partnership, then it was far from bad. There was the rivalry flame that usually became passion at some point and they had to admit it worked well. 

Then, Moca thought about Poppin’Party. They guessed it wouldn’t be terrible, but they felt they wouldn’t fit in there, like… whenever they played together there would be someone singing  _ ‘one of these things is not like the others’ _ in the background. So, that was a no. Although being Saaya’s bandmate and being able to eat lots of bread after practice sounded nice. 

The next one was Hello, Happy World!. It’d surely be entertaining, Moca had to admit. Interacting with Kaoru would always mean being in for a treat, as well as Kokoro, who was similar enough to Hina in order to bring delight; Kanon was cute and nice to look at, but then again, she was no Hikawa. Misaki seemed easy to tease and Hagumi was also similar to Hina, in a way. 

There was also Morfonica, Raise a Suilen and Glitter*Green, Moca thought to themself, but Morfonica was too classy for them to fit in, they’d feel too old in Raise a Suilen and too young in Glitter*Green. And then, there was Pastel*Palettes. No one similar to Hina would even be near replacing them; Aya reminded them of Himari, so there was already some familiarity. Eve was honestly cute and Maya had that rambling, infodump thing Moca related to at a certain level. 

“Pastel*Palettes,” They finally answered with a grin and Hina looked oddly surprised by that answer.

“Why?” They tilted their head. “I know Pastel*Palettes is great, I think that, but I want to know why  _ you  _ do. It’s something I always ask the fans.”

Thinking about the fans of the band obviously indulged them. Moca wanted to say the answer was ‘because I’m in love with you!’. They wanted to scream about it from the top of their lungs for the whole world to know. Instead, they shrugged. “I guess it’s the band whose members remind me of Afterglow the most.”

That seemed to indulge Hina even more and Moca immediately knew they’d have to talk more about the topic. “Oh! Who’s who?” Their eyes lightened up for a second, as Moca had foreseen. 

“Aya reminds me of Himari,” Moca decided to start with the most obvious. “There’s the pink hair, the hardworking and insecure part, and I think they have the same cute doll vibe?” Hina was nodding enthusiastically at that point, which certainly meant agreement. “For Eve, I’d go with Tomoe. They’re both strong as fuck as well as dedicated and caring. Like, the opposite sides of the same spectrum or something. Butch and femme, two sides of the same coin, whatever you call it. Ran and Chisato are kinda similar too, not that obvious, but the both of them come off as rude and closed off when they’re, like, caring. I’m assuming here.”

“No, no, you’re right!” Hina hyped them up. “Continue!”

“I’d go with Maya and Tsugu being similar. I don’t know why, I guess they’re both knowledgeable? Hardworking, too, I guess, kinda nerdy and caring… Tsugu’s like the backbone of Afterglow, looking for gigs, organising schedules… she’d a life saver.”

“Maya’s definitely a lifesaver! Not sure about that thing of getting us gigs, because we have the Agency for that…” Hina thought about it for a second. “Oh! But whenever we have problems with our instruments or something, she goes  _ boppity bop _ and  _ bam! _ It’s all done and we’re up for a boppin’ concert!”

The description caught a laugh from Moca, not in a humorous way, but because oh, boy, Hina was amazing. They’d talk so loudly and excitedly about whatever they cared about and it was obvious they were excited just by looking at them. It was the kind of glow Moca wished they had, the line between transparent but still mysterious, thus Hina was both. 

“Yeah, it sounds similar. And then…”

“Me and you,” Hina interrupted and while pale, Moca nodded. 

“How similar are we?” Hina asked almost expecting Moca to snatch a sixteen pages long analysis out of their backpack while grinning and saying they were glad they asked. Instead, all Moca did was to freeze. Both of them described their genders with ‘no’ and ‘lesbian’. They were both guitarists, though that didn’t count to any of the previous members of the bands. They studied at the same school, but it also didn’t count. They were both serious, though Moca was so serious they imploded while Hina was so serious they were brave. They fought for their happiness with claws and teeth while Moca let it run away from their fingertips like sand.

Moca then shrugged, as they’d been doing ever so often during that conversation—had Hina noticed? “We’re both guitarists who get good grades at school without having to study much,” was what Moca decided to go with. “Though you’re more brilliant than I am.”  _ At every possible aspect. _

After that, Moca analysed Hina’s expression, trying to notice if that’d been too much or if it was okay; what would be their reaction, a smile or a frown? There were lots of possibilities inside the Afterglow member’s head, but none was what  _ actually _ happened.

What actually happened wasn’t something Moca would’ve guessed, not even in their wildest dreams—well, maybe in the wildest ones. Hina leaned in and put their lips against Moca’s, their expression was serious like they meant it. Their mouth tasted like chocolate and mint, which made Moca believe they’d probably gotten some ice cream of that flavor in the cafeteria. A smile appeared on their mouth in the middle of the kiss, thinking that this specific flavor suited Hina. 

Moca had no idea how much time they’d been kissing each other when Hina stopped. “We would do it eventually,” They explained as Moca’s head was spinning around. Was this comment because of the fake relationship thing, the practice of… smooching? Or was it because they were actually going back to each other, always, and that thing was meant to be? That the Moca and Hina thing would happen eventually?

Not knowing how to reply to that, Moca just nodded, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “So… how was it?” They didn’t know whether they’d meant if they still needed practice or if Hina was a good kisser, but if it was the latter, it was perfect. If it was about needing practice, Moca wasn’t sure about how accurate it would look, but if practice meant doing that more times until the event hosted by Yamabuki Bakery, then that was what they needed.

“Boppin’,” Moca answered and nodded as to illustrate their point. Hina smiled at the usage of the word they’d coined. “We could use more practice, though… we don’t want to look stiff, right? I mean, if we’re dating, then we must’ve kissed more than once.”

The comment pleased Hina and deep down, Moca wished it was for the same reason as they’d suggested more practice. “Now or tomorrow?”

The true question was, could Moca take it any longer? “If we’re going to announce it tomorrow, then I guess a bit more practice today wouldn’t hurt,” They said instead, well aware that a bit more practice could and most likely would hurt. A lot. However, the sight of Hina’s now rosy lips due to the kissing wasn't helping them think straight. 

In fact, they couldn’t have been thinking  _ gayer. _

**[...]**

Moca Aoba wasn’t one to arrive at school early, everyone knew that. They’d much prefer spending half an hour at the Yamabuki Bakery and getting late for the first period. But there was a change of plans when the suggestion of announcing their relationship with Hina (unfortunately fake, though they were indulging themself by pretending it was very much real; if they were already pretending, then it was okay to go hard, right?) by arriving at the academy holding hands. 

So, at thirty past six in the morning, Moca heard the sound of the doorbell, then Hina’s voice talking to their mother downstairs. In the blink of an eye, Moca was ready to leave. “Moca-chan!” Hina greeted, almost running towards them, but stopped themself when they realised they were inside the house, so they just clapped their hands excitedly. “Let’s go!”

“Yup, Hina-senpai!” Moca opened a smile so wide that it forced their eyes to close. “Bye, mom! I’m off to school!”

Luckily, Moca’s mom didn’t give them a forehead kiss or something embarrassing and allowed them to leave without any concerns. Already outside, Hina took their hand casually. Moca was about to question them about it, but chose to drop it. Why would they deny themself of the touch of those angelic hands? Quickly, they did their best to push those thoughts away so their face wouldn’t get any redder.

“Here,” Hina handed Moca a package that they hadn’t noticed until then. It was a very familiar one they immediately recognised. “The Yamabuki Bakery is on the way from my place to yours and I thought you’d be hungry. You usually stop by around this time, right? And getting to school earlier would probably stop you from doing that, so…”

As they looked at the inside of the package filled with different types of bread, Moca’s heart fluttered. They previously thought Hina was already perfect, which was before they bought them bread. “Hina Hikawa,” Moca called with no control over their actions whatsoever. “I’m in love with you-  _ God! _ ” They exclaimed at the first bite. “So… so… mocatastic! Boppin’! Tsugurific!” 

Hina laughed, and Moca thought they were living a charmed life, listening to Hina’s laugh, now their favorite sound, while eating bread the fellow guitarist had bought them. “I knew you’d like that!” As they said those words, the grip on Moca’s hand tightened.

“So,” Moca changed the subject in an attempt not to think about the electricity in their fingers—they knew beforehand it was going to be a failed one. “How are things in the Student Council?”

“Boppin’!!!” Hina exclaimed as they shook their left hand. They kept the right one holding Moca’s. “One of the literature teachers asked me to schedule a meeting with the rest of the Council and she didn’t go in details, but it was something about poems? And bam! I thought about Kaoru-kun!”

It felt weird to relate Kaoru to educational purposes, but then again, the situation was all about incorporating the fun into studies and Moca could surely see the actress and guitarist being related to  _ that. _ “Interesting. Pray tell.” 

That response was enough for Hina to start rambling, which Moca honestly adored.  _ Please, speak to me until my ears fall off, _ they couldn’t help thinking, very well aware off how much of a lesbian cliché they were. “So! Kaoru-kun already reads poems to everyone, right? What I’m thinking is them reading the poem and talking a bit about it! Like interpretation, historical context and all that jazz. Maybe even a game like…” They put their fingers over their lips as if in thinking, but still using their other hand to hold Moca’s. “I know! Maybe someone who nails the interpretation could choose the next poem!”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that!” Once again, Moca was well aware of the hearts inside their eyes as they said it and luckily, Hina was looking at the houses around them. “But many people could nail the interpretation, so maybe it’d be better to play it safe?”

“You get the technical part just like Tsugu-chan! You’re right, by the way, but playing it safe is so meh… you know? I mean, what’s life without a little risk?” The grin they gave Moca after saying that seemed to communicate something, but Moca didn’t dare to analyze it further, to fool themself further. “I’ll try to think about something to make it fun, maybe a raffle…” 

Hina was still deep in thought when Moca saw the gates of the Haneoka High School building getting closer. There were already some people running around and crossing the school doors, but it was certainly less than when they usually arrived. Suddenly, Moca became even more painfully aware of their hand inside Hina’s. “Are we… um…” More nervous than they were supposed to be, Moca started. “Going to continue doing this?” Moca used their free hand to gesture their interlaced fingers.

“Mmhm?” Hina nodded as if it was obvious. “I mean, if you don’t want to, I get it, but we’re announcing it today, right?” Moca was the one who nodded this time, even though it was a rhetorical question: they’d already discussed it. “And I guess this is as good of an announcement as any. Don’t you?”

Moca didn’t know if Hina’s words actually made sense or if that sensation of righteousness was one of their brain’s attempts to keep that contact for as long as possible; anyhow, they caught themself agreeing. 

As the both of them approached, the crowd grew so much bigger, though not many people had arrived before they did. Moca wasn’t one to be intimidated, but at that moment, the students were giants. When the couple got close enough to the gates, their eyes directly targeted the hands, now in cold sweat, that held each other tightly. At this point, Moca realised Hina was braver than them, though they should’ve noticed earlier. While their own tight grip begged Hina not to let go off their hand, to  _ stay, _ essentially, the president’s just whisper confidently that everything would be fine and they weren’t going anywhere.

And because Hina was closer, their whispers managed to shield Moca from the ones that came from the crowd, the judgemental eyes. Finally, the pair was inside the building. There were still students inside, but the strong, electronic lights and the clear floor were somewhat comfortable. Maybe there were some prisons that protected the criminals instead of destroying their life.  _ There’s no turning back now.  _

Then, they arrived at the Student Council’s room and Hina was grinning again. Or at least, Moca was just now noticing it. “We did it!” They exclaimed happily and jumped around the room and threw themself in Moca’s arms and that momentary comfort made all the struggles seem worth it. 

And that moment was when Moca realised they were long gone. There was no turning back now.

**[...]**

“Hina Hikawa, eh?” That was the first thing Tomoe said when the teacher left the classroom after the bell rang. So, it had already reached her.

“Yup,” Moca confirmed, their own smirk as wide is Tomoe’s. Even though it was fake, they exhibited the title of Hina Hikawa’s girlfriend like a badge of honor. ‘Girlfriend’ wasn’t their favorite term ever, but when accompanied by ‘Hina Hikawa’s’ it was an achievement. “Hina Hikawa, indeed.”

“Go big or go home?”

“Something like that.”

It was Himari’s turn to question them, then. “How did you ask them?” Her question wasn’t challenging, Moca knew, it was only her hopeless romantic nature speaking.

“That’s between me and the sweetheart,” Moca winked. “But I can tell you it was very romantic and it happened yesterday in the Student Council office. Very professional.”

Upon the last statement, Moca could hear Tsugumi whispering something about her paperwork. They felt the need to reassure her about it, but dismissed it soon enough. They hadn’t laid a finger on it and the previous afternoon hadn’t exactly been a making out session, no matter how much Moca wished it had, so the paperwork was certainly safe. Ran looking at them suspiciously, but quiet: she knew Tomoe would ask all the questions and if she could avoid awkward moments, she would. 

But Tomoe and Himari kept asking questions, both of them doing so for different reasons, but making Moca nervous the same way. Luckily, Hina and them had planned out the whole story, which had felt more natural than it was supposed to, but the constant questioning made them worry they would say something wrong or incoherent. 

For the first time. Moca was glad when the bell rang letting them know the break was over. After that, they decided to spend the time with Hina during the break. Moca would often suggest that they practiced their kissing for when they would need it, which Hina enthusiastically agreed to every time, making it hard for the Afterglow member to tell themself it was impossible the Hikawa liked them. Why would they like someone like Moca Aoba?

That was the thought that kept appearing in their mind when they entered the Yamabuki Bakery. It was their anniversary, so there were balloons and other decorations all around, which gave the shop a celebrative feel. As expected, it was still empty, because Moca knew exactly how to get early at their favorite shop. The next person to arrive was Hina, that made the whole thing even more worthy of celebration; then, after some loyal (but not as loyal as Moca) customers, the rest of Afterglow got there. 

“We were waiting for you,” Moca said as soon as the others approached. Their gaze was locked with Tomoe’s, not daring to have a moment of weakness. They seated on the four chairs around the table Hina and them were seated. “We saved your seats.”

“You shouldn’t have…” Tsugu muttered, risking a quick glance at the other clients who didn’t have seats, considering how crowded the place was. 

“No, I insist,” Moca answered, still staring at Tomoe. She knew what they’d meant:  _ I insist that you have the best seat to watch me as I prove you wrong.  _ Finally, they got up and offered their hand to Hina, leading them to the cashier. There were some people waiting in the line already and some before the pair had the same idea to use the kissing discount, and then… 

“How can I-?” Saaya, who was on cashier duties that day, then realised it was Moca. “Oh, our most faithful client. You want the usual, I assume?” Moca nodded, as confidently as possible when they were about to kiss the person they’d dreamed of for… hell, they didn’t even have an idea of how long. Since forever, they guessed. “What about you, Hina-san?”

“Hmmm, I’ll have that chocolate croissant. The one with cinnamon! It sounds boppin’ and I’ve never tried it.”

“Alright…” Saaya whispered slowly as she took quick notes of the order. “All set. I’m also assuming you two will use today’s discount?” The wink she gave them made it clear the news of their relationship had gotten to her ears. 

“Again, your guess is correct. Detective Moca-chan is impressed.”

While laughing, Saaya told them the price their order would be with the 50% cut. When Hina stared at Moca, reality hit them. That was going to happen. For a second, they felt like being a chicken and running away from the bakery, too nervous. But then, several reasons why they shouldn’t do that appeared in front of their eyes.

The first one was that they wouldn’t be able to get their bread and even if they did, there’d be no discount and they were pretty sure the salary of their part-time job had already been wasted. The second was that letting Tomoe win would be a blow to Moca’s pride that they weren’t willing to take.

And the third… Moca looked at Hina’s bright and curious eyes, then at their lips. The third one was that they  _ really  _ wanted to kiss Hina Hikawa. And so, they got closer and closer to each other in what seemed to be slow motion. At first, when their lips touched, it was full of gentleness and curiosity. It felt like exploring unknown land, both sides taking it all in, the entirety of that experience. They had already kissed each other, but every single time was like the first. 

Then, it grew intense, as if they were hungry for each other’s touch, to be closer until they were one. The giggles loud giggles and cries from Himari and the applause from the other members and customers grabbed them out of their own private dream in each other’s arms, and Hina, with their cheeks flushed, put a bunch of coins on the cashier. “It’s my treat.”

Moca would’ve been against it, but they remembered that they most likely didn’t have money and if they did, it had been forgotten at home, so they just took it. Hina grabbed the purchases from Saaya’s hand, removing only their croissant from the bunch. “I’m gonna head home. I’m… Sayo is waiting for me. Yeah.” They seemed confused by their own statements and their eyes were… sadder. Everyone else would’ve read it as them being disappointed for having to go away, yearning for more time with their girlfriend, but Moca could see beneath that: there was something bothering them. 

So, as they left the bakery, Moca followed them. None of the band members made any movement to stop them. Out there in the cold, they called out Hina’s name. “Hey! Wait!” Moca didn’t need to repeat themself: the Hikawa quickly turned around and walked towards them, taking away all of the steps they’d put between the both of them. Moca wanted to ask if they were alright, if anything had happened, or to ask about their own self-indulgent theories. Instead, they said, “I think… we should continue… um. Doing this. For a while.” Moca cleared their throat, trying to get some time to think about a speech. That needed to be fast, before Hina turned around again and walked away. For good, this time. “It’ll be suspicious if we stop right after the anniversary.”

For the first time, Hina’s expression was unreadable. The brightness in their eyes flickered, like a light about to go out, their lips were slightly shaking, maybe because of the cold, and Moca didn’t know what any of that meant. “Ask me what you really mean.”

“Huh?” Now, Moca understood it even less.

“You want to ask me something. So, just ask.”

Something about the way Hina explained it made Moca realise, made them indulge themself a bit further. They wanted to, but before they did… “You know it, don’t you? If you do… why are you doing this?”

_ You know I’m in love with you.  _ “I do.” Moca could now see the ghost of a smile on the corner of Hina’s lips. The one they’d just kissed. “But I want you to say it. A selfish delight, I guess.” A chuckle. Moca breathed in. Maybe the partial smiles, the chuckles meant that, if they asked, the answer would be ‘yes’. It all pointed out to this, but they couldn’t help but be nervous. Maybe it was a plan for them to make a fool out of themself- no, Hina would never do that. But maybe they’d understood it wrong and Moca was supposed to ask something else-

“Do you want to continue this? Not because of some discount, but because… it’s boppin’?” Now, the smile on Hina’s lips was very clear. It was almost like the sun hidden behind the clouds and Moca’s words had been the wind to put them away. “I like you and I really want you to kiss me like you mean it.”

“Yes,” Hina said like Moca, deep down, knew they would. “And I’ll do it, on one condition.” Moca raised one of their eyebrows, giving them permission to go on. “You’ll do the same.”

“Deal,” Moca answered, aware that they’d gotten the best of that negotiation: they always kissed Hina Hikawa like they meant it, because they did; even when they weren’t supposed to.


End file.
